stella (sam) i'm 19 and i'm from baltimore, md.
i like harry potter, glee, doctor who, starkid, theatre, tattoos, nerdfighteria, lgbtq rights, the hunger games, sherlock, supernatural, writing, modern family, fashion, photography, punk, activism, misfits, body modification, disney, politics, dexter, adam lambert, star wars, my little pony, mia swier, astronomy, lady gaga, philosophy, drag queens, kevin smith films, the office, comic books, toddlers and tiaras, owls, scrubs, art, boy meets world, & mythology.
i tag everything i post! don't like it? blacklist it!
Pride.moonbros
mockingjay(s) singing
Other individuals I stan include: Darren Criss, Chris Colfer, Misha Collins, Mia Swier, Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Daniel Radcliffe, Meredith Stepien, Naya Rivera, Michael C. Hall, and Jonathan Groff.
There are many, many more.
It has come to my attention lately that a lot of people in my life seem to think that I’m incapable of being happy. In response, I’ve compiled a list of things that I like, or that make me happy. I don’t actually hate everything, after all.
My family just isn’t like that, and they never have been. My mom’s family never threw around I love yous much and so she never really did it with my brother and I. If I go out of town, she’ll send it to me in a text, but we don’t really say it out loud because it feels awkward. My dad will say it sometimes if I’m leaving for school or leaving town or on the phone if I’m not going to be home for a while but I always feel awkward and don’t say it back. I only regularly said it back to my dad when I was in 8th grade and he was suicidal because I always just assumed I wouldn’t get another chance to. And if I don’t say it back when he says it then I sometimes feel guilty. But it’s just weird, and we don’t do it. And I’m always like, really surprised to hear people say it so casually.
Examples: I love calling people baby, honey, dear, darling, love, etc. I like being called those things. But my best friend’s ex used to call her “funny bunny” and that is just terrible and embarrassing. Pet names = good. Baby names = bad.
- Joey Richter
- John Green
- Hank Green
- Meredith Stepien
- J.K. Rowling
- Chris Colfer
- Charlene Kaye
- Chuck Criss
- Misha Collins
- Mia Swier
(No specific order)
Waking up with Grace, Erin, and Leslie. Meeting Gaelen. Getting brunch. Going to the city. Meeting Cassie. Meeting Ryan and Nellie and Maddie and Rebecca and so many other wonderful people. Meeting Beau Bridges and Darren Criss. Telling Darren how grateful I am for his existence, and having a conversation with him. Spending the night with Grace, Erin, Lauren, and Cassie in New York City. Neil the security guard. Taking my first cab ride… I could’ve died in my sleep that night with absolutely no regrets.
Answering the rest of those questions because I feel like it.
4: What’s the cutest thing someone’s ever done for you? I lost my iPod, which was the only thing I got for Christmas last year, and I was really upset about it. I made a post about how I felt terrible not having it, even though it had a cracked screen and a stupid quote on the back. Lauren got some of my friends to pitch in to buy me a new iPod with the perfect quote on the back and I got it in the mail one day when I was really sick and sometimes it makes me cry to think about it.
6: What was the scariest moment of your life? Two years ago, I was having an argument with my dad and my brother, who hates when people argue and is very defensive of me and thinks my dad is pretty much less than human, got really pissed off at my dad. And my dad told my brother, who was hyperventilating and refused to leave the room even though it was apparently none of his business how my dad treats me, to stop being an over-dramatic bitch. And my brother snapped and punched my dad in the face, and when he did, he freaked out, thinking my dad would pretty much kill him. So he ran to the kitchen and called 911. My mom called them back and told them that nothing was wrong, and my dad walked in and got pissed off that my brother was flipping out. And my brother went to the knife block and held a knife to his own throat, and when my mom and I yelled for him to put it down, he threw it and it bounced off of the floor and cut my leg. My brother freaked out thinking he hurt me more than he did and had a huge breakdown and my dad was flipping out and everything was a huge mess.
11: Have you ever been in love? If so, are you still in love? I have been. And I don’t believe you ever really stop loving someone if you genuinely do love them, but I’m over it as much as I ever will be.
12: What are four things you can’t live without and why? Honestly, everything that makes me feel connected to the world is on the internet. So pretty much that. I have information, music, my friends, a place to escape, an emotional outlet, etc. Pathetic, but true.
14: What do you like to do in your spare time? Sleep, write, watch television shows on the internet, read books, eat a lot, play with my cat, play with my chinchilla, go shopping with Becky, Skype with people, roleplay, dress up and put on make-up for no reason…
15: What are your biggest fears? Being boring, being alone, losing people I care about.
16: What are two of your biggest weaknesses? Laziness and caring too much.
17: What are your three biggest insecurities? My teeth, feeling like I’m annoying, and my nose.
18: If you could write anonymous letters to three people, who would you send it to and what would you say? I would write one to my mom to encourage her, to thank her, to make her feel like she’s appreciated. Anything that would make her feel better about her life because I hate how unhappy I know she is and I hate feeling responsible for having her be stuck here when she’s so miserable. I would write one to my brother, to encourage him in the same way. And I would write one to a stranger, to let them know that they have a reason to smile and bright days to look forward to and something simple and nice to perhaps give them a lift they may need.
20: Who are you disappointed with right now? RACHEL (who ironically just signed on to Skype as I typed that) because it’s entirely her fault for not answering her fucking phone in New York and us not meeting.
21: Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? Yes, I suppose, if it was the right person.
22: Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? One of my exes (if you can even call him that considering we dated for a week in seventh grade and never kissed) is really pissed because he thinks I like his friend, and he keeps telling me to stay away from this guy and that he’s bad news, even though the guy is his best friend.
24: In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl? Becky, I think!
25: Is your life anything like it was two years ago? Two years ago, I was in high school, I was in a long-term relationship, I had a completely different group of friends, completely different interests (honestly the only ones that are the same are some of the music I listen to, Harry Potter, and kind of Glee although I didn’t love it nearly as much back then.) I looked completely different, I dressed differently, I had a much worse relationship with my brother, etc. No, it isn’t really anything like it was.
26: Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’? Hmm. Justin, Jeremy, Josh, James O., James V., and Jake. So, yes.
27: Is there someone you will never forget? So many people. I don’t forget people easily, at all.
28: Is there anyone you can tell everything to? Erin.
29: Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? I don’t even know who I last texted because my phone is broken.
30: What’s the reason behind your last breakup? He liked me a lot more than I liked him. He was a great guy. He was gorgeous. We were very sexually compatible and very good as friends, but we didn’t have a very good intellectual compatibility and we didn’t have enough to talk about. Unless we were together, we didn’t really have conversations. I never knew what to talk to him about and most of the time I did all of the talking and I didn’t always feel like he cared about the things that I did, which is fine. We just weren’t right, and I didn’t want to keep leading him on once I realized that it eventually wouldn’t work out.
31: What’s your relationship with your sibling/s like? I’m pretty close to my brother, even though when we were younger, we constantly fought and he used to beat the shit out of me on a very regular basis. We’re protective of each other. He’s transsexual and has Asperger’s Syndrome and a lot of times he’ll come to me for advice on things like social behaviors and things that he can’t always naturally understand. We watch Doctor Who together a lot and he does a lot to help me out when he can.
My sister Danielle, who is 25 and married, is pretty much my hero. She kind of raised me and my brother and she taught me how to use my imagination because I had a really shitty and neglected childhood and she helped me cope with the fact that I spent so much time on my own. I’ve always looked up to her. We talk a decent amount. She’s the most encouraging and supportive member of my family and she helps me out and is the only person who has ever given me real hope for my future.
My sister Candice is like 27 and married and she and I have never been close. We talk sometimes but we don’t have a real relationship. She had issues with our dad leaving her mom for my mom when she was younger because she used to adore my dad. None of my sisters have any relationship with my dad. Candice and I have very different interests and personalities but sometimes we talk about books and English and it’s nice.
My sister Becky is 31 and she and I get along fine but we don’t go out of our way to talk. She lives with my sister Danielle and I mostly talk to her when I go to hang out with Danielle. She always did my hair and make-up for my proms and homecomings and she’s absolutely hilarious and I like spending time with her, but we aren’t really close or really good friends outside of that.
Woo, that was fun.
I am actually obsessed with High School Musical and Sonny With a Chance and Hannah Montana. I can recite every word to every HSM film and SWAC episode. And every Hannah Montana episode with large amounts of Lilly/Oliver because they were the best. Disney Channel got me through senior year.
I also wrote fanfiction for all three. Kelsi/Ryan from HSM, Chad/Sonny from SWAC, and Lilly/Oliver from HM.
But only the more pop-country, I hate the deep-voice, twangy redneck shit.
